Not again =(

Our baby girl is sick again. I was at work today (yes, supposed to be my "off" day but duty called) when I got a text from my Mom that Sabine was feverish. It's a good thing my Mom always visits on Wednesdays so I did not have to run home all the way from the Manila Hotel where I had an event. I monitored everything via SMS and phonecalls to the house. I went home a bit early though because by mid-afternoon, I was feeling too stressed out just thinking of her. On my way home I kept getting flashbacks of Sabine's recent hospitalization. It's only been a little over a month since then and here I was dealing with the same symptoms again. No cold, no cough. On the outside, it seems like it's nothing more than teething. Yaya said she was drooling more than usual today and didn't eat as much as she normally would. But I've always been the "expect the worst, hope for the best" type. Call it whatever you want. I just hate being complacent and then caught off-guard later on. I'd rather think of the worst possible scenario and then be told that it's not so serious after all. Since I got home, I've done nothing but monitor Sabine's temperature. Her mood changes quickly. She's playful and malikot one minute, grumpy the next. So I guess she really isn't feeling well.

Tomorrow morning we're taking her to Cardinal Santos (again, I'm starting to have a panic attack just thinking of going there again so soon) to get a urinalysis. The first thing the pedia wants to rule out is UTI again, because if it is, then something must be done. I don't know how much sleep I'm going to get tonight or if I'll get to sleep at all, not knowing what's wrong with her. I hate this sick feeling I have in my gut. I've been moving around the house like a mechanical toy, my mind somewhere else because the bad memories of Sabine's stay in the hospital last month keep playing in my mind.

PRAY PRAY PRAY...that's what I'll do to keep my mind off things. Haven't bothered to tell DF because he's had some high blood issues to deal with lately and I don't want to worry about him right now. DH is quiet but obviously worried to death. I think he may be feeling worse than I am and just doesn't want to show it.

Waaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!