Self-Employment Woes

It's 3am and I'm still awake. Not wide awake, because I can feel my body crashing into bed as I type. Forcibly awake is more like it. I've been in front of my laptop since about 9pm doing paperwork. In between, I would indulge Sabine in a little attention. She was wondering why I was working downstairs for a change, when I would usually just do this in bed. I've learned my lesson. I almost never achieve anything by working while snuggled under the covers in an airconditioned room. So she kept going up and down the stairs to ask me when I'm going up. My poor little girl fell asleep on the couch because she insisted on waiting for me. I had to carry her up the stairs and tuck her into bed before hitting the laptop again.

So why am I still up and working at this ungodly hour? Ah, that's the downside of being self-employed. When I was working fulltime in the corporate world, I was harassed and stressed out from 9-5 but I left work at the office, never brought any of it home with me. Unfortunately, even if I didn't have to work at home back then, I was still absent in so many ways, due to the exhaustion. Plus I was also travelling a lot. 4-5 days at a time and it made me miserable to a certain extent each time I had to leave.

A few weeks ago, I decided to jump right back into consulting work which I had done a few times in the past. Luckily and clearly due to divine intervention (plus the help of a very good friend), I got my first project in no time. Unfortunately though, I've had many sleep-deprived days since I started on the project. Today is going to be one of them. Not all consulting jobs are this toxic though. It just so happens that the client is on the demanding side (I'm being kind here) and was given a deadly deadline to produce results --- which are to come from me and a few other people. I'm charging this to experience. There are so many gains from this experience, all of which I've taken note of, so that I can be properly guided when the next project comes along. That's my woe really.

At the end of the day though, I see that the pros outweigh the cons where my circumstances are concerned. My kids are so happy I'm always home and available (especially the little one) and I'm more in control of my time. So as long as the benefits directly impact my family, especially my children, anything is worth the sacrifice. By sacrifice I mean the major lifestyle adjustment. Errr...no more monthly income. That's a HUGE thing for me. Years ago, I wouldn't even have imagined being where I am today. I guess it's the age factor too. The older you get, the more you value the little but really more significant things.

Babbling away at 3am. I haven't been up this late in a very long time, especially not because of work. I'm just so glad this project is just about to end. I can be on full holiday mode very soon. Not to mention, I can focus more on my future plans. Don't wanna reveal them just yet. It's exciting and I can't wait to be 100% committed to it.

A few more days ...