That's what people have told me over and over again, whenever I complained and told them that my Dad hasn't "visited" me yet since he passed. I think it's pretty normal for someone to wait for something like this to happen, especially if the passing of a loved one is sudden.
It's been almost 2 months and both my Mom and brother have shared numerous stories about feeling my Dad's presence around them, while I have had nothing to say except, "buti pa kayo". Friends and family have said to me that the reason I haven't experienced the same thing is 'cause my Dad is least worried about me. I believed it. But it didn't diminish the desire to feel him around me.
I've heard of similar stories from many others who have lost a loved one. I began to wonder when my time will come and honestly, I kept waiting for it to happen, to my disappointment. My cousin, who says she always dreams of dearly departed friends and family members, recently texted me to say she dreamt of my Dad. Another story I couldn't relate to. He didn't appear to me in my dreams either. Nothing. So when I told her this, she said, "Just expect it when you least expect it, Ate. It will come."
I think I kinda stopped hoping and finally listened to what everyone's been telling me.
They were right.
A few hours ago while I was fast asleep, I felt it. No, it wasn't a dream. Not totally. (But if it was, it felt so real.) I know I was awake, or atleast half-awake when it happened. I was sleeping on my side, hugging my baby girl like I always do, when all of a sudden, my entire back felt SO COLD. It's like someone rubbed a whole jar of Vick's Vaporub --- is that supposed to be hot? Well anyway, it felt something like that. Then all my hairs stood up, all the way to my scalp. The feeling stayed for a good 10 minutes, I swear. I felt myself smile because I knew, without a doubt, what was happening. I had never experienced anything like it before. Unlike some people (my Mom and brother included) who have a heightened sensitivity to these things and the unseen, I have zero. I don't have stories to share about ghosts and the like. Not even when others in the same place had experiences about feeling a sense of being watched or anything of the sort. I had always been the "odd one out" in these situations. But this time, I was 101% sure I was going through it.
I decided to blog about it because I know it's nothing out of the ordinary and a lot of people will believe that it did happen. In other words, I don't think my readers will think strangely of me after this.
My Dad finally paid me a long overdue and much-awaited visit and I'm so happy he did. Then again, I can't help but think about what people have said to me. They kept telling me that maybe he was saving me for last. I kinda think this is true. So does this mean he was saying his final goodbye? That was a long hug he gave me, so I can't help but think that they might be right.
Daddy, if that was really your way of saying that you're off to the happy place now, then I'm happy na rin. I can't thank you enough for making that one last stop for me. For the tight and long hug you gave me (sure felt like one), for granting my wish.
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