Saturday, February 9, 2008

Friendship WHEN it counts

In a previous entry, I wrote about one of my BFFs going through a crisis in her life and how a few of us ran to be by her side in this most trying of times. I had the chance to listen to her and for the first time in a very long time, I could not get a word in right away. You see, despite our very close relationship, she and I are opposites in many, many ways. She's patient, quiet, non-confrontational and will hold everything in. In other words, you won't hear a peep from her. I, on the other hand, can be terribly impatient, very vocal and extremely confrontational especially when I feel I have a point and I need to get a message across. Hold everything in? I've done that many times but not in the same way that she would. But this time, I was totally shocked at what I saw and heard. It was like seeing a side of her that none of us ever knew existed. She was angry, visibly hurt, vengeful to a point and very open about it. The three of us who sat down with her that day had no choice but to eat everything that was on the table because there was nothing else we could do while we were listening to BFF's rants. In fact, I didn't have the appetite for dinner that night because I wolfed down so much during our talk. It was all very new to me, seeing her that way. And silently as I listened to her that afternoon, I prayed in my heart that this experience of hers doesn't turn her into a mad and bitter b*tch for the rest of our lives. Not that I would mind having her that way, because I honestly have told her so many times in the past how she has to stand up for herself sometimes. In college, I literally had to fight some of her battles for her because she just sat there and did nothing to defend herself. A part of me is thankful that it seems no one will have to do that for her from now on. I'm just hoping this painful experience doesn't completely change her.

This weekend is going to be a huge turning point for her. We talked for almost 2 hours on the phone the other night (and realized how much I missed making telebabad), about things she wasn't able to tell me last Monday when I went to see her. Last night, we were texting each other and I wished her good luck for this weekend. I'm genuinely concerned for how things will turn out for her but reassured her that no matter what happens, right or wrong (but she knows if she's wrong I'll also be the first to say so), I'll stand by her because I know that's when my friendship will count the most.

Friendship is not about being around only when times are good. It matters a lot more when you're down in the dumps. I've been in this world long enough to know that people do bail out on you when you're at your lowest. It could be the most painful thing to experience but later on you realize how grateful you are that it happened, because the other side of it is, it's also the time when REAL friendships are reinforced. You win some, you lose some. You may lose more than you can keep but what's important is you get to prove who's in it for the long haul with you. THAT is what should count.

And my dear, dear can be 101% sure I'll be here longer than you'd ever expect. We'll still be sitting in Starbucks years and years from now with our Iced Cafe Mochas (err...decaf non-fat for you) and our kids will be making fun of us just like we did with our own Moms. We'll be laughing hard when we try to recall all the things we've been through and thank each other (and the rest of the group) for sticking it out. I am so glad that my daughters are witnesses to the kind of friendship we all have because if there is one thing I want them to learn, it's that friends and family are more valuable than any material thing they can afford to buy later on. I know for a fact that my Anissa is amazed at how long we all have been together. I showed her photos of us in our school uniforms and she was shocked when it dawned on her that we've been friends this long.

I know you don't even have a Multiply site and are one of the laziest people I know when it comes to using the PC but I'm writing it all down here anyway...because I want the whole world to know how fortunate I am to be able to say that at the very ripe age of (almost) 40, I've managed to keep the same group of friends and will go through the rest of my life knowing that we'll always have one another.

I'll be thinking of you while you're away and praying for what's best for all. Good luck and I can't wait to hear from you when you get back!!!

No comments:

Post a Comment