Sunday, March 4, 2012

Finding Your Life's Purpose (Part 1)

Recently, my 5-year old Sabine came across the word PURPOSE and asked me what it means. I was challenged! How do you explain the word's meaning to a toddler? I put it very simply. I told her that PURPOSE means something that you really really want. And she said, "Oh, like I really really want that Hello Kitty hospital toy?" I believe she got my point.

How many of us can actually say that we've found our purpose in life? That we now know what we're here for and why we are in the exact position we are in? It took me more than 40 years to find out. Until almost two years ago, I was in a totally different world. It was a place which I thought I absolutely belonged to. This world provided me with everything I needed to survive. It also gave me the reassurance that my parents' hard work at putting me through school did not go to waste. I didn't and couldn't see myself doing anything else. I was comfortable.

I don't know how many times God must have tried to speak to me and how many times I refused to listen. I say this because almost two years ago, He gave me a huge wake-up call. More like a big whack on the head. It was so painful and so drastic, I had no idea what hit me. I was forced to leave what I thought was my comfort zone for the past twenty something years. It was like being blindfolded and taken some place unfamiliar. I was lost. Then human nature kicked in. I was angry, looking for an explanation and depressed all at the same time. It would've been normal for me to stay this way for quite some time. But something told me that I shouldn't. So that same night, before I went to sleep, I prayed like I had never prayed before. My final words were, "Take all of this from me because I can't handle it myself. You put me here so I trust that You will do what it takes to get me out." I woke up the next day minus the heavy feeling in my chest. It felt like I had entered a brand new phase. While the problem still existed, I was no longer worried about it. All I wanted to do was to move forward. I couldn't help but wonder why God gave me this challenge. My Mom, who is the most prayerful person I know, enlightened me. She asked me, "Would you have quit your job, in order to focus on your family? God had to make sure you would take Him seriously this time." (Much as I would like to be more specific about what happened, I can't. Suffice it to say that I have good people working for and with me, to address this issue)

I officially became a Stay at Home Mom, a role that was so alien to me. The next few months were spent enjoying all my free time, looking after my family, being there for my kids. Finally, I was always just at arm's reach for them. No more stressing over how to re-schedule my meetings just so I could make it to a school event. No more going home feeling so exhausted and falling asleep way before my kids did. No more spending the weekends sleeping because I had to catch up on rest before going back to the daily grind. I thought I was going to be so insecure about not having my own income. But God made sure I wouldn't have to go through that. He blessed me with a partner who is not only supportive and understanding, but also provides well for all of us. I never imagined myself feeling so content despite not being able to do my share financially. God gave me peace of mind and made me see all the benefits of my new role. He slowly showed me the big picture. This time, I learned to listen and to keep my eyes open.

More than a year later, I still didn't feel the need to look for work. That's how convincing God was. Never mind that there were times I missed my fat paychecks, performance bonuses and 13th month pays. I was just as happy and content as the day I first became a SAHM. And then ... maybe He felt I was somehow ready to handle a slight change so He again surprised me. This time, not with a whack on the head. I was so sure it was part of His master plan.

To be continued...


  1. Hi, I am currently experiencing what you have gone through two years ago. When I read this entry, I was really inspired to just lift everything up to the Lord and just surrender. Thank you for the inspiration

  2. Dear M, thank you for your comment. I'm just so happy to help. God bless you always!