Saturday, November 17, 2007

39 years on this planet

Just some birthday babble I feel the urge to "write" down....

I am 39 years old today. Do I look 39? NO --- hahaha! Feeling! But do I feel 39? Yes, yes and another resounding YES. If I try to recall what I felt on my birthday 5 years ago...I think it was a lot different then. 2 weeks before my actual birthday, I'd be calling people up to tell them about my birthday celebration. I would do this every year. I'd choose a venue or a friend would volunteer her house and all of us would get together to eat, drink and be merry c/o me, of course.

Then the unexpected happened...

When I turned 36, that's when it all changed. I woke up to find out it was just a few days and it would be my birthday and I hadn't planned on doing anything. Friends were texting me left and right. What's the plan for this year? You haven't said anything. Saan ba gagawin and when? Please let us know. And I found myself replying to them, No celebration this year. Why? I don't know. Just don't feel like it hehehe. But they didn't stop. Whaaat??? No celebration? But it's your birthday!!! Why no party? No food? No inuman? And that's how it's been since then. I think my friends finally accepted the fact that they'll never see another of my birthday parties again because most of them have stopped asking about it. Only one pushed her luck (hehehe) a few days ago and my answer remained the same.

HORMONAL. I just know it's all hormonal. I don't feel bad about being one year shy of the big FOUR-O. Age is just a number (right, Brends?), it's a state of mind. I'm blessed to have always looked younger than my true age. I used to hate it whenever I'd be asked for my ID everytime I tried to enter a bar or casino in the States. I always had to bring my passport with me because any other type of ID card would've been thought of as tampered or fake. But now that I'm 39, it's the other way around. I love the fact that people react surprised when I tell them how old I am. Lucky, lucky in that sense. So why is it that I've been having birthday blues for the past 3 yrs (and mind you, each year it just gets worse)??? I tell you...I'm 101% sure it IS hormonal. Can anyone offer a better explanation?

My new-found friend, J, did. She says she's been going through the same thing every year when her birthday nears and she thinks the culprit might just be the fact that we both stopped celebrating our birthdays that's been giving us these blues.

The one day in the year when we're entitled to be queens (or b*tches?) and be given whatever it is our hearts desire.

The one day in the year when everyone's eyes are focused on just us.

The one day in the year when it's not considered a sin to forget about the hubby and the kids and just think of ourselves for a change!

I think it all makes some kind of sense to me now, thanks to J. You certainly made a point, my friend!


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