Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Up Patty Down

That's basically what just happened. 

For the past few weeks I've been feeling upbeat, positive and just simply so walang pakialam. People wondered if I was just pretending to be strong. I wasn't. I really DID feel strong and I was determined to beat this thing to the very end. I still am!

But I guess you can't really tell when your body or your mind has had enough. The need to release will just come. Mine did yesterday. It hit me like a huge tsunami, I wasn't able to control it at all. So I remembered what a friend said, when the need to cry comes, you shouldn't stop it. Just let all the tears flow because your body needs to let go of all that energy that really has no use staying inside of you. Another friend says, I should welcome these moments. These are the times that I totally recognize and acknowledge my weakness, and when I feel weak, I call on the Lord. 

So really, it's all good in the end isn't it? 

Today, it's pretty much the same for me. It's like this really loooooooooong roller coaster ride which you just have to be on. No jumping off, no asking the driver to stop so you can breathe for a bit. You make the most of it and learn to manage these small bumps along the way. 

When it gets too heavy to bear, I close my eyes and say a short prayer and it always helps. 

I'll be okay. :) 

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