I'm trying my best to psyche myself up for next week. Next week, chemo cycle 5 will take place. What happened to the time? I know. It was eaten up by the side effects and that nasty virus that hit me. I'm 90% recovered from the virus today and when I looked at my calendar, I was shocked to see that I only have a few days left to do my "stuff" before I go into my 5th and more importantly, SECOND TO THE LAST treatment. I can't cry over spilled milk. That's just going to stress me out unnecessarily. Instead of whining at how little time I have left this round, I'm making a conscious effort to prepare for the next date with the Frienemy.
Starting today, I'll focus on being CALM. That's a really tall order, if you know me well. I'm hardly calm, mostly panicky. But I need to do this in order to make sure that my next cycle won't be as bad as the 4th. Like I always say, it's all in the mind. My mind won the last time. I'm hell bent on not allowing that to happen again.
I don't know exactly how I'm going to do it but I'm starting out with this
Photos of things that relax me ... a day on the beach with the family, watching the sunset (yes, this never fails), a Swedish massage (preferably 2 hours of it), scented candles all around, a cup of tea by myself or with friends and outdoor lunches with friends or loved ones. Just thinking about them is making me feel a sense of calmness. How I wish I could run off to the beach right now, but that will have to wait 'til the summer. Will this work? It has to! One week to go!
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