Friday, January 25, 2013

Just Looking

It's been 2 1/2 years since I left the corporate world as full time slave. I've never totally regretted my decision not to go back, but sometimes, I can't help but miss those pay checks and 13th (sometimes 14th) month plus performance bonuses. I still remember how it felt to see those numbers in my bank account, never mind if most of the time (or maybe ALL the time?) the Witholding Tax part really turned me off. 

I did continue to work on a consulting basis after I left my last full time job. But the last project I handled was worse than toxic because the people I worked for - and with - were, unfortunately, dis-organized and difficult. N told me he had never seen me so stressed out, not even when I was an Asst. Vice President handling more than 50 people and travelling out of the country once a quarter.

People, especially former work colleagues would sometimes ask me if I ever think of going back to work. Sure I do! Even if nothing beats staying at home and always being available for your kids, there's always that small part of me that misses being a working Mom. At times, my brain feels so fried because I've been away from work too long. 

That's why I thought of going into business and putting up Yellowbird Shoes. Then again, breast cancer decided to derail my plans. The business is in the back burner until my treatments are over. Lately though, I've been updating my LinkedIn profile and checking on the activities of my contacts there, just to see what's up. I usually look at who views my profile and check on my notifications. Then recently, I discovered I could look for jobs, too. DUH. Sorry, I was never into LinkedIn before. 

I see a lot of interesting entries under Jobs. Hmmm. *Me going into thinking mode* I specifically looked into jobs in the hotel industry, because this is one place I want to go back to, given the chance. I spent 5 years as a hotel employee in the early to mid 90's and they were some of my best work years. A lot of the things I know now and have applied to my other jobs, I learned while working in a 5-star luxury hotel chain. 

My girls feel differently about Mommy going back to work, and you can already guess who's saying what. Anissa thinks it's okay, Sabine the still clingy 6-year old doesn't see the point. N, will support whatever I decide. He always does. And my Mom? She's fine with whatever I choose to do, so long as the kids aren't short-changed. Daddy would feel the same if he were still around. We'll see where this mood takes me later on. I really can't do anything until my life returns to almost normal after chemo. For now, I'm really just looking.

I'm soooo excited about something though. It's a thing I can't say much about right now because I don't want to jinx anything. Hihihi. I'll share it when the time is right!

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