How could I be swayed after just one hospital visit?
After having Sabine 2 years ago, I swore to myself that she would be my last child. Fine, I don't have a boy. There was a time when I really, really wanted to have one. But girls are so much fun to have, too. And I swear I was so content and final with my decision to stop multiplying. Until last night...
We visited a family friend who gave birth to her second child, another boy. I didn't expect to see the baby because we went to St. Luke's after dinner. Turned out the baby was roomed in from the start and wide awake when we got there! On the plasma TV in the bedroom (may I just say the Presidential Suite could pass for a unit in Serendra?), I watched the slideshow which our friend's Ob-Gyne made herself (now how's that for service?) and found myself touched by all the beautiful photos that were put together for the presentation. The Mom crying, the baby as soon as he was pulled out from her tummy, the soles of the baby's feet, the Dad kissing his newborn on the forehead, the photo of th 3 of them when it was all over. I felt a pinch but that's normal. I'm always moved by scenes like that. I immediately began to play images of my own childbirth experiences in my head and found myself staring at the baby again, lying next to his Mommy, eyes wide open as if to welcome his visitors.
Awwww...I felt the pinch again. OH NO...does this mean...NO...I'm sure it will pass. It will. It will! This was what I kept telling myself quietly during our entire visit. Nope, it's not your baby so stop "drooling". You have two beautiful, perfect girls. You're complete.
On the drive home, I kept thinking about all the not-so-good stuff about my pregnancies and deliveries, as if to remind myself about the previous decision I made. With Anissa it was 26 exhausting hours of labor and 2 weeks of walking around like an old lady because of my C-section. With Sabine it was morning sickness in the first trimester, regurgitating anything and everything I swallowed and dealing with a normal delivery this time --- the super painful Fundal pressure given to me by God knows how many male members of my doctor's team, causing me to have flashbacks of my life while thinking, "I'm going to die, I'm going to die". We got home and I was knocked out as soon as my back hit the bed after my hot shower. I recall my last thoughts after praying...it will pass. Tomorrow I'll be back to my old self and I won't even think of the baby anymore.
WRONG. Okay, Houston...we have a problem.
I'm glad DH doesn't have a Multiply account. I won't ever make the mistake of sharing this story with him. I know for a fact he will jump at the opportunity to try for a baby boy.
Gimme a break...I'm turning 40 in November. I don't want my kid telling stories in Grade School about my Senior Citizen card.
hahaha funny about your kid telling at school about his mom's Senior citizen card. honestly, you don't look 40. you look great Patty! i have a son 2 yo, but would love to have a girl too--but not now or the next 3 yrs though I'm 30 already. :)
ReplyDeleteYou have lots of time to "kill" before having that 2nd child. 30 is FAR from turning 40 hehehe =p
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