Wednesday, August 29, 2012

On Positivity

I'm learning so much on this journey. One of the first pieces of advice I received from people, and the one that keeps popping up every now and then is to STAY POSITIVE.

But when you're given news that has the tendency to suck all the positive energy out of you (and in my case it was already depleted to begin with), how do you do it? It's not easy at all.

Truth be told, I cried buckets when my OB-Gyne first reacted to the lump in my breast. I saw her facial expression change slightly and it alarmed me to the point that it made my mind work overtime. I cried in the car while leaving the hospital and even when I got home. I cried that night when everyone was asleep. All these thoughts just came to me and they stayed in my head, not wanting to leave. I felt burdened and so afraid for what was to come. But I think I overdid it, really. It was just day one and I honestly had no idea how things would turn out. Fear and worry took over too soon and they enveloped my entire being and almost paralyzed me. That went on until the next day when I went to meet my breast surgeon for the first time. By the end of those 48 hours, I felt so deflated. It had only been 2 days and even then, still no confirmation of anything, and yet I truly felt exhausted.

I've always believed that a person gravitates towards his own thoughts. The mind is so powerful, it can take control of you and your entire being. At this point, I realized that I was letting my mind do just that, and it was slowly consuming me. All the negative thoughts were eating me up and making me feel so wasted!!! This is what people meant when they said it wasn't going to be easy but you just have to take the wheel and steer things in the right direction. Otherwise, poor you.

I decided to take stock of things when I realized how badly beaten I felt so early in the game. And well, the rest is history. I am where I am today and I owe it all to the one up there. I prayed for strength, for Him to take away all the bad feelings and replace them with comfort and hope. I surrendered everything to Him and begged him to help me. That was all it took.

The next day, it was all GONE!!!

So while there is no sufficient medical proof that a positive attitude can make your illness go away, it plays a huge role in the healing process nonetheless. All I know is that the body responds to whatever the mind tells it to do. If my mind keeps telling my body that I'll be okay, what do I stand to lose?

Best of all, hindi ako papangit! :)))

So repeat after me ...

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