Thursday, April 26, 2012

May I rant?

My apologies for this post. But I'm really just so disappointed. A few days before last weekend, the all-around helper asked permission to go on day off last Sunday. Our helpers only go on days off when it's payday, so they can go out and send money to their families. So we really expected her to be gone the whole of Sunday. Around late afternoon, I received a text message from her. She told me that she wouldn't be able to go home that night because a family emergency had come up. I asked her what the problem was. 

Her reply:
Ma'am, nabundol po kasi ng jeep yung kapatid at Mama ko habang nakasakay sila sa motor. 
(Ma'am, my brother and mother met an accident while on a motorcycle. They were hit by a jeepney.)

Horrors. I seriously felt for her and I asked her how they were doing.

Nasa Emergency Room po kami ngayon. Tinitignan po sila ng doktor. Hindi po ako makaalis kasi bukas pa ng umaga makakabalik ang step-father ko. Mga 10am po ako makakabalik.
(We're in the emergency room right now and the docs are looking at them. I can't leave because my step-father will return from work tomorrow. I'll be back by 10am.)

End of story. I didn't bug her about their situation because I surmised that being all alone, with two family members in the ER, she must have been so stressed out. I woke up way before 10am on Monday morning, went on my laptop as usual and a few minutes past 10am, she wasn't back. My kids' Yaya texted her to ask where she was, no reply. Several more texts later, still nothing. On my way to a meeting that afternoon, I got a text from her :

Ma'am, namatay na po yung kapatid ko. Ako lang po ang nag-aasikaso nang lahat. Si Mama po nasa ospital pa. Hindi po muna ako makakabalik. Pasensya na po kayo.
(Ma'am, my brother succumbed to his injuries. I'm all alone, arranging everything. My mother is still in the hospital. I won't be able to return just yet. Please understand.)

Again, I seriously felt for her. I called but she didn't pick up. I texted her and asked her to please text me when she's free to talk so we can discuss things. I wanted to ask her if she needed any help. But no reply from her the rest of the day. I started to doubt when I again tried to call her but her phone just kept on ringing. Something was starting to smell fishy. Still, I hoped to be proven wrong. I didn't want to believe that anyone would lie about her brother dying and her mother being in critical condition. 

The following day, Tuesday, she was still nowhere in sight and we hadn't heard from her. I didn't know what to think. Until N got a call from her parents. They were asking him if we knew where their daughter was. N immediately called me and even if I was at a meeting, I excused myself because I couldn't believe what I was hearing. 

Since that time, the helper has texted my Yaya to admit that she made the whole thing about her brother and mother up. It was all just a story. But we still don't know why she lied or where she went. We started putting the pieces of this giant puzzle together and suspected that her sudden departure had something to do with her boyfriend. Anyway, I'm not even going to wonder about the real reason. All I know is that she fooled me, all of us. We all felt sorry for her and all that time she was lying to us. Yaya says she has apologized ... to whom? Certainly not to me. Nahihiya na daw bumalik dahil sa ginawa niya. Siguro naman??? (She says she's too embarrassed to return to work because of the trouble she's caused. I figured!)  The thing is, the cellphone we handed to her for use during her employment is still with her. Some of her things are also still with us. 

At first, I really hoped she would come back. It will be hard without those two extra hands. I now deal with an irritable Yaya because she's doing the work of two people and she's tired. Sabine doesn't understand that Yaya has to work double-time and demands the same amount of attention from her. After thinking about it really carefully though, I don't think she deserves to be given a 2nd chance. I'll never be comfortable around her again. She sometimes takes Yaya's place in taking care of Sabine. Will I constantly worry and suspect her of doing something stupid again? I don't think it's worth it. 

I don't know where to begin to look for a replacement. We don't get our helpers from agencies, only from referrals. It's back to zero and I really hate it. Worst of all, I really feel so stupid for being made to believe that she was seriously in trouble because of what she claimed had happened. 

Modesty aside, Yaya has been with us for 16 years now. If I were an employer from hell, why would she stay with us all this time? I swear, some people just don't know how to value what they've got. We were really good to her, didn't treat her like crap because that's not us. 

And this is what I get in return. It never feels good to be abused by anyone. 

Moving on ... now where to find a new helper??? :(


  1. Nako, the endless helper issues! Nakaka-asar diba? I really don't understand why they need to lie to us or make up stories. Are we bad employers? This is one of the thing that baffles me when it comes to helpers - they simply don't tell the truth!!

    Ako, we're sanay with getting from agencies. We've also had our shares of horror helpers but then the ones that we currently have have stayed with us for at least 8 years.

    good luck in your search patty!!

  2. Part of the reason I'm disappointed is 'cause we were okay with her work. Plus, she was so patient with Sabine. Bata pa kasi, 17 lang. But she broke my trust and that's a big thing. If you're loyal to me, I'll give you what you deserve and more pa. Hopefully, the one we're interviewing tomorrow will make the cut. Ang hirap talaga maghanap ng reliable helpers :(

  3. P.S. Thank you, I really need to find a good one asap!

  4. hay naku, yun first helper namin, ang bait namin sa kanya, imagine ang liit ng condo namin, as in wala sya halos ginagawa, on her 2nd month, nag advance ng 1-month worth ng sweldo kase daw nabaha yung family nya sa cebu (yun yung may tsunami ata dun), so we believed her, inadvance namin february sweldo nya, nung nagday off, wala na, di na bumalik! iniwanan na damit. feeling ko ganun na talaga modus operandi nya, kase when we hired her, nagpaalam na before sya start kunin muna yung gamit sa dating amo.

    after 2 weeks nya mawala, nagtxt giving an alibi na something happened, of course we didnt believe her na, pinahirapan ko sya makuha yun damit nya, pinatagal ko talaga. kaasar eh!

  5. Hi there, I can really relate to what you're going through right now, as we also experienced "kasambahay issues" recently. Just want to share my story with you -- This kasambahay was with us for more than a year - when she started working for us, she found out that she was pregnant (she told us she was married). She continued to work for us until her 7th month because she said she needed work badly to prepare for her baby's birth...while she was with us, we almost coddled and spoiled her - my reasoning, kasi nga, buntis, kelangan wag mahihirapan.

    She came back to us a few months after giving birth. We had to leave her alone in our house because we had to go out of town for a few weeks. Fortunately, my aunt's home was just a few minutes away from our own; one of their kasambahays discovered that OUR maid was regularly letting an unknown man inside our house! And she (my aunt's maid) was shocked because one time, our maid let that man in - and he went straight to our kitchen to check what's inside the ref. That means, he knew his way around our house, at home na!!! :O Turned out, that guy was our maid's real "boyfriend", and that he used to deliver drinking water to our aunt's home. Nakakaloka, good thing our maid asked us if she can go home since "wala naman akong ginagawa, nakakatamad dito sa bahay" (e ang sarap nga ng buhay nya, sumusweldo habang watching TV lang maghapon since we weren't there!). I don't even want to dwell on what they were doing when left alone in our house - good thing our bedrooms were locked, or else baka ginawang parang motel ang rooms namin with the ACs on, ugghh :O

    Immediately after we left, we had all the doorknobs and locks in our home changed, for our peace of mind. It's just so disappointing because we treated her as part of our family, even spoiled her in a way. Now we're also on the lookout for a new kasambahay - and hoping that the new one won't be as deceitful as the last one. :(

    Good luck with your search! May we be lucky enough to find trustworthy helpers once more...

  6. Hay naku girls. Ang masasabi ko lang, sana makahanap sila ng mga amo na kasing understanding natin. Paano nalang yung mga employers na nananakit or super strict and hindi marunong makisama? They really don't realize how lucky they are, for them to take their work for granted and abuse their employers.

    It is so hard to look for people you can trust. I'm so inis at the fact that I have to look for a new one again. Back to zero. Sigh!